How Vegeta learned Japanese
by Saiyachick
Summary: Ever wondered how Vegeta learned Japanese? I have... so i wrote my version Bulma is the instructor of Vegeta and a two year old Trunks. Who will graduate with honors? Trunks or Vegeta?
1. Lesson 1: Prince of Monkeys

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ.

Summary: Ever wonders how Vegeta really learned Japanese? I mean come on he is a Saiyan, and they don't know Japanese…how did he learn?

**_How Vegeta learned Japanese_**

**_Chapter one: And so it begins_**

**__**

It was one fine sunny day out. The warmth of the sun was like an embracing hug, there wasn't a cloud in the sky, and it was so peaceful…well…maybe not exactly…

The real story is it was a sunny afternoon. As usual the Saiyan prince was demanding food from his 'mate' because he had to watch his 'brat.' He walked haughtily to Bulma's lab and knocked roughly. "Go to hell!" she yelled.

"Servant woman, serve me my food!" Vegeta bellowed as he held his two-year-old son. "I demand that you feed me!"

"Hold on Saru no Ouji!" Bulma growled. She stomped out of her lab and straight to the kitchen. Vegeta thought for a moment…what did this 'Saru no Ouji' mean? As Bulma got out some bread and started slicing up some lettuce and tomatoes. She got out some sandwich meat and stacked more and more.

Finally Bulma did a fake smiled and shoved Vegeta's food in front of him. She then took Trunks out of his grasp and held him closely. "Can you say saru?"

The lavender haired toddler mouthed the word until he finally said it… "Saru!"

"Good boy! You'll be learning Japanese in no time!" Bulma smiled. Trunks kept repeating the word and Vegeta got absolutely annoyed.

"Would you shut the bloody hell up!?" he roared. "I can't take your jabbering. It's bad enough you're teaching the brat how to talk, but do you have to teach him your native tongue?"

Bulma smirked, "Don't get jealous Vegeta. It's not my fault you don't know Japanese…"

"Shut up," he mumbled.

"Ha! You're jealous! Veggie sama is jelly!"

 "Chicko!" Vegeta yelled. Bulma stopped and stared at Vegeta confused. "See, you don't know my native language either so don't laugh!"

"Oh I don't really care, you can curse or swear at me all you like," Bulma said plainly, "But I know it's killing you to learn Japanese."

"No it isn't," he growled. "And I don't attend to."

"Aw come on, why don't you give it a shot?"

"No."

"Please?"

"Let me think…yea-no."

"You can call Goku names in a new language," Bulma smiled. She knew she got Vegeta there. 

Vegeta thought for a moment, "Doesn't he already know your language?"

"Um…er…yea…but! What if someone says something to you in Japanese? They can make fun of you all they want!" Bulma added in.

"I'll blast them all to the next dimension!" Vegeta glowered.

"Then it's a deal, you and Trunks are my new pupils…" Bulma said then mumbled, "but I expect more improvement form Trunks."

"I heard that woman."

"Oops…"

"Well what are you waiting for? I will give you an hour a day then I leave." He said.

Bulma smirked, "Good, then you get homework."

Vegeta frowned, "I refuse to do such an infernal thing!"

"Take it or leave it…"

"Fine!"

"Alright! Bulma's Japanese for people is now in session!" Bulma said. She walked into the living room while holding Trunks and Vegeta followed. She instructed Vegeta to sit on the couch and put Trunks in his baby holder. She grabbed a workbook and handed it to Vegeta. "Everyday you will be assigned something from here."

"And what if I don't do my homework?" he said smugly.

Bulma bent down and whispered, "Then you don't get and physical work…got it?"

"Strict one, aren't you?"

"I can't be stricter."

Vegeta mumbled something and grabbed the workbook. Bulma grinned and brought out another big book and threw it at Vegeta. "That is your dictionary. If you don't understand a word in your homework then you look it up in there."

"How nice of you…"

"Shut up Vegeta, class is in session and you may not talk until you learn manners!"

"You can't make me woman!"

"I can if I want otoko!" 

"What did you call me?"

"A man."

"Why?"

"You call me woman, you get the same treatment!"

"Wench."

"Prick."

"Now, now the teacher shouldn't use such foul language." Vegeta said cockily.

"Do your class work! I will teach you the basics…let's start with greetings…"

"Wait a minute…what did you call me earlier?" he asked.

She looked puzzled, "What do you mean?"

"That 'Saru no Ouji…'"

Bulma laughed, "Oh I just called you the prince of all monkeys."

"WHAT?"

"That's 'nani.'"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Kat: This has puzzled me for quite sometime now…how'd Vegeta learn Japanese?

Saru- Monkey

Otoko- Man

Nani- What?

Ouji- Prince


	2. Lesson 2: Never annoy the teacher

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ.

Summary: in this next chapter, more humor is going to fill you and make you laugh hard^_^

**_How Vegeta learned Japanese_**

**_Chapter two: Lesson 2 never annoy the teacher_**

**__**

It's already been two days and Vegeta still didn't learn anything new. The only things he learned from his dictionary were 'baka,' and 'onna' and the occasional 'kuso.' Bulma was frustrated because they were still on greetings, and the only person who seemed to be passing was Trunks…

"For the last time Vegeta, say it!" Bulma yelled, "It isn't that hard, your two year old son said, now you!"

"What was the word again?" he asked without a care. Bulma started to fume with anger and was blowing smoke out of her ears basically.

"You thickheaded baka!" she screamed, "The word is 'Konnichiwa!'" 

"Konnichiwa!" Trunks yelled playfully. Bulma turned to her son and smiled, "At least you take after me and not your stupid father."

Vegeta growled and scoffed, "I just don't want to say it."

"If you don't cooperate you get detention!" Bulma yelled.

"Oh and what is this detention? I'm grounded? Oh no wait, I have to do extra work, please don't make me laugh!" Vegeta said while humoring himself.

Bulma smirked, "Oh if you don't know, detention is no food…no snacks…no dessert…"

Vegeta's eyes widened in horror, but immediately covered up. "You can't scare me, I'll just go to one of those food places."

"I'm locking all my accounts!"

"I'll blast the damn baka's!"

"And you'll go to jail, end up blowing up the authorities, then you have to leave this planet," Bulma snickered, "Oh really good deal Vegeta, now say the damn word!"

"Fine! Damn onna," he cleared his throat and finally said it. "Konnichiwa."

"Very good Vegeta, your not as imperceptive as I thought," she smiled, "You get a golden star!"

"Oh really?! I feel so special now!" Vegeta said sarcastically, "Oh its what I've always wanted!"

"Well it should be, since Trunks already got five," Bulma smirked.

"NANI?" Vegeta yelled with anger.

Bulma smiled, "You finally are using Japanese!" she got all teary eyed and clasped her hands together with a smile, "I am so proud of my Vegeta!"

The almighty the Saru…er…Saiyan prince growled in annoyance and pushed Bulma slightly causing her to fall, "jeez your clumsy."

She glared at him with hate. "That's it Vegeta! As a punishment, you will write, 'I will not push the teacher' twenty times on paper due tomorrow!"

"Is that all? Oh the torture!" he mocked, "oh the agony!"

"Oh did I mention they must all be in Japanese?" Bulma added in with a grin of superciliousness (wow long word).

The Saiyan prince didn't seem so haughty now and stared at his mate and exhaled heavily, "How about I pick up the teacher and throw her on the roof?"

"How about you get Saturday school?"

"But I thought Saturday and Sunday's are weekends…no school…"

"Its school for juveniles like you," Bulma smirked, "and I think it will suite you fine."

"I'll take the sentences!" Vegeta said. 'Stupid onna, making me do such things…wait…I am a warrior, I don't have to take this!' he thought.

'Oh yes you do,' Bulma thought while interrupting with the bond. 'You'll be failing badly…ever so badly…' She then handed out a notebook to Vegeta and cleared her throat. "We're now taking a snack break, you wait here and I'll bring in the snacks."

Vegeta crossed his arms and looked at his little son who mimicked him. He glared, and Trunks did the same still. "Knock it off brat!"

"You gaki!" Trunks yelled back childishly.

"What? I never learned that!" Vegeta said.

Trunks smiled and sat in his holder silently, his Japanese vocabulary grew everyday. Vegeta looked at his son and finally tapped him, "Did your mother teach you that?"

The lavender haired Saiyan nodded and grinned. Vegeta's eyes widened and he gasped, "The onna has been giving you private lessons!"

"What did you say Vegeta?" Bulma asked while walking in with two trays of food. "Are you ok?"

"No," he mumbled, "You're teaching the brat more Japanese!"

Bulma grinned, "That's because Trunks devotes more than one hour to learning Japanese."

"And how long does he dedicate?" Vegeta asked with his usual bored tone.

"Around four hours, and might I add, he learns way more then you'll learn in a week," she said. "He's going to graduate Bulma's school of Japanese with honors."

Vegeta bit his tongue and hissed, "That is valuable training time!"

"I'm not saying you have to, and I'm not saying you don't have to, but if you want to learn more Japanese, give me more than an hour!" Bulma explained and turned her back from Vegeta and smiled. 'Oh yeah he's staying.' She thought cunningly.

"Fine, I will give you four hours, and that's it," Vegeta sighed, "but I better learn more than I usually do."

"Great, and more homework and progress reports. Oh and by the way, one's coming out this Monday," the blue haired genius beamed while passing out the snacks.

~*~

"Ok, now we'll go on with out greetings and ways to say 'good bye.'" Bulma said. She got out a miniature chalkboard and wrote down a few words. "Ok, now repeat after me. Konbanwa."

"Konbanwa," both Saiyan's repeated.

"Good, now, Ja ne."

"Ja ne."

Bulma smiled and nodded, "I think you'll be getting better at this everyday. As for you Vegeta…you're improving…"

Vegeta mumbled and shook his head. "Pathetic…I am the great Saiyan no…what's the word for prince again?"

"Ouji." Bulma sighed while putting her hand on her forehead.

"Yes! I am the great Saiyan no Ouji, and I can do anything!"

"Can you cook for yourself?" his mate asked with a haughty smirk.

"Ok maybe not anything."

"Gaki no Ouji," Trunks giggled while pointing to Vegeta.

"What did he say?" Vegeta asked.

Bulma laughed and fell to the ground while clutching her stomach, "He called you Prince of brats, and I think he's right!"

"I am not a gaki, gaki!" Vegeta roared while pointing to Trunks.

Trunks stuck his tongue out at Vegeta and climbed out of his baby holder and started yelling. "Tousan, gaki no ouji!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Kat: Ok, more humor, and I think this story will go until graduation.


	3. Lesson 3: Progress Reports Count

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ…you really are as dumb as you look.

Summary: Last time, Trunks was taunting his father by calling him 'Gaku no Ouji.' We learn more words, and what's this? Vegeta actually does better then Trunks?

"Talking"

'Thinking'

**Vegeta's conscious **

**_How Vegeta learned Japanese_**

**__**

**_Chapter Three: Lesson 3: Progress Reports count_**

**__**

Two weeks passed and the pupils of Bulma's Japanese school already had a verbal pop quiz. Things were going fine, Vegeta turned in his twenty sentences, but earned a hundred more for writing, 'Bulma no Kappa.' Other than that incident things turned out for the best…well…not exactly…

"HOW IN THE HELL DID I GET THIS?!" the Saiyan prince roared ferociously.

"Oh calm down, you got a C, though I am disappointed," Bulma sighed, but then smiled. "Trunks on the other hand got an A+."

"You're taking favors…that's all!" Vegeta growled, "The gaki is only getting good grades because you're his mother!"

Bulma smirked Vegeta's smirk. "Nope, he deserved it, you on the other hand barley even maintained a C."

"I said your damn words!" He yelled.

"Yet Trunks cooperated and had more golden stars," Bulma smirked, "I wonder how this will affect your relationship as father and son. I can just see it now 'Grown man gets beat by his son at Japanese,' priceless."

"I swear onna, I will kill you," the Saiyan warned.

"Oh, I'm soooo scared," Bulma smirked. "Now, since it's a weekend, would you like extra credit to bring up your grade?"

Vegeta grumbled and simpered, "What do I have to do?"

"The first assignment is to have a casual Japanese conversation…" 

"Pfft, is that all?" Vegeta cackled, "How simple is that…"

Bulma shook her head and grinned, "but you have to go to Chichi's house and find her, I told her about the extra credit. You'll have a casual conversation with her…"

"NANI?!" Vegeta screamed with anger. "I absolutely REFUSE having a conversation…with that…that…harpy!"

"That's only number one," Bulma said. "Number two is to get tutored by Gohan, he knows a lot of different languages…more than me actually."

"Oh right," Vegeta mocked, "I'll have some hormonal brat teach me."

"He's fourteen," Bulma growled, "And he's damn smarter than you!"

"Chicko!" Vegeta mumbled under his breath. He stared at Bulma's blank face and smirked, "Ah yes, the Saiyan tongue rules once more."

"Go to hell," Bulma said. "The third extra credit project is to cook a Japanese meal,"

"A Saiyan warrior will not go degrading himself by going to do a woman's work!" Vegeta stated, "Wait…no…you can't cook."

"SHUT UP!" Bulma screamed, "Those are your only choices! You can do all of them or one, but all three would bring up your grades."

"Onna, that's not fair!" Vegeta leered.

"The only fair is the county fair, now you are dismissed," Bulma said while walking away.

Vegeta walked down the halls of Capsule Corp and into the GR. He set up the levels and got in position while hovering upwards. The training went well for a while but that damn C got to him. 

"How is it something like this can bug me?" he asked to himself.

**Maybe it's the fact that your child is doing better than yourself**

"Who said that?!" Vegeta yelled. All of a sudden, in a cloud of crimson smoke came…Vegeta's shoulder devil.

**I am your faithful Saiyan side of the dark here to tell you…YOUR SON BEAT YOU IN INTELLECTUALITY!**

"Shut the hell up, it's not like you know anything about Japanese," Vegeta grumbled, "Hey! He's your son too!"

**But I'm only part of you; you're the whole form of the Saiyan prince**

"Stop patronizing me you insignificant baka!" he growled, "where's the other side of me?"

**Right here**

Out in another cloud of crimson smoke popped another Vegeta devil. **What's a matter?**

"Isn't there suppose to me a shoulder angel and devil?"              

Both devils laughed and fell to the floor. **You have an angel? That's absurd!**

Vegeta threw a ki blast at both devils and smirked. "No pixies shall haunt me!"

~*~

Bulma was just about to knock on the GR room when suddenly she heard Vegeta talking to himself and throwing ki blasts. She pointed to her mate and swirled a finger around her head. She then noticed Vegeta was going to come out and walked away whistling.

Vegeta did eventually come out of the GR with a haughty smirk of arrogance. "Yep, I took care of them."

~*~End of the chapter~*~      

Kat: So how was it?             

Vegeta: I swear I'll kill you!

Devil Vegeta #1: Sorry, but you cant!        

Vegeta: And why not?

Devil Vegeta #2: Because without her, we don't know who will graduate…you or Trunks.


	4. Extra Credit 1: Mingling with Chichi

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ.

Summary: In this plot, we take it up a notch. Vegeta isn't too happy about his C, so he's taking up the extra credit ^.~

**_How Vegeta learned Japanese_**

**__**

**_Chapter Five: Mingling with Chichi_**

**__**

**__**

Vegeta grumbled crankily as he marched out of the gravity chamber. Today was supposed to be a full day of training, but he had to do his extra credit project number one today: Have a conversation with Chichi in Japanese.

This was one of the days that seemed dreaded by the Saiyan prince, a day of mockery. 'At least Kakkorrot isn't here to witness this.' He thought with shame.

He kept flying while keeping his cool and finally spotted that small little house in the mountain range. The prince slowed down the process of flying and dived straight towards the small hut. Once Vegeta touched the floor, he trudged over to the small door and was about to knock, but was greeted to an open door from Gohan.

"About time you learned your respect brat," Vegeta smirked while walking in.

"Vegeta I don't think you know what you're talking about," Gohan said smugly. "I heard about the extra credit. My mother and your conversation is your ticket to higher your grade. I'm going to tutor you. Plus, my mother is teaching you how to make one simple meal. If I didn't know any better I'd say you're on my turf now, so get use to it."

With that, the fifteen-year-old half bred walked off into the hallways. Vegeta just stood there staring at the once frightened little boy and shrugged. "Guess the kid does have potential to be a true Saiyan."

"Vegeta is that you?" a womanly voice yelled out. "I'm in the kitchen, so let's get this over with!"

"Stupid harpy," Vegeta grumbled while walking into the kitchen. Chichi was settling baby Goten with food and she stood up. 

"GOHAN EAT!" Chichi screamed.

Both Vegeta and Goten covered their aching ears. Didn't she know how sensitive a Saiyan could get?

"Yes mum," Gohan sighed while pounding his hand against his ear. "Honestly do you have to yell that loud?"

"What do you mean?" Chichi asked while pouring rice in his plate.

"Oh nothing," he said while eating.

"Now you two behave, I have to give Vegeta here a conversation," Chichi smirked. "And let me tell you, I shed no mercy on Saiyan's."

'Damn she's scary,' Vegeta thought while walking back to the living room.

"Take a seat," Chichi ordered. "Konnichiwa Vegeta-san."

"Er konnichiwa Chichi-sensei," Vegeta said bashfully.

"Ogenki desuka?" she asked surprisingly calm.

"Um…"

This was going to be a long day indeed.

~*~

Vegeta stared at Chichi intently as she was writing something on a piece of paper. It was his evaluation on the extra credit. She smirked while she kept writing and finally placed the piece of paper in an envelope. The she scribbled something on the envelope and handed it to Vegeta.

"Give this to Bulma, and don't you think about opening it," Chichi said sternly. "Or else you fail and that whole thing was a waste of time."

He grunted and flew out of the mountain range. This was a boring day, "Hmph I can't believe I degraded myself this lowly."

'Oh shut up Vegeta,' Bulma said through their bond.

'Get out of my head onna,' Vegeta thought while mentally growling.

'Ha, your just itching to find out what you got,' Bulma said while smirking.

'Oh shut up,' he sneered. 'I could really not care.'

'Then why did you take the extra credit?' Bulma asked.

'…'

"I win," Bulma said aloud as her employees stared at her.

~*~

"Wow Vegeta I'm impressed," Bunny Briefs said while handing him some cake. "You actually passed that extra credit project."

"Whatever," he mumbled while eating the cake.

"Don't even try and congratulate him," Bulma said while picking up Trunks. "His ego is big enough, no need to fill it."

"Gaki tousan!" Trunks giggled.

"Baka chibi," Vegeta retorted.

"Gaki tousan!"

"Baka chibi!"

"Enough you two!" Bulma yelled. "There will be no more fighting you understand?!"

"Hai," little Trunks pouted while pressing his hands in food. Bulma turned her head and Trunks threw some of his porridge at Vegeta.

"That's it!" Vegeta yelled.

Bulma turned around and glared at Vegeta. "I told you to shut up!"

"But the brat threw this disgusting food on me," he hissed.

"Oh don't be silly Vegeta," she said. "he's only two."

"Stupid demon spawn," Vegeta grumbled. "Stupid onna."

"I heard that mister!"

"Damn."

**__**

**__**

****


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